The Bachelor 22.3 Recap

I’ll be honest, guys, I got pretty carried away with my success last week. I lost quite I few potential points here. I thought Lauren S. was a solid choice for generic blonde runner-up, but alas, she cracked under the pressure. But I’ve also been to Hall Winery in Napa, so who’s the real loser this week, am I right? Am I right? And next week they’re going to Tahoe where I practically grew up, because my uncle has a house there. This season of The Bachelor is just a NorCal extravaganza and I’m here for it. (All of the stats I’m using are pre-second round changes. I know Justice and Kristina have both already made their changes, so to keep it level, I won’t include those yet.)

Jenny had a great week with only two losses, but she is now in last place in potential points because of Lauren S. Lauren S. alone was worth 90 points between Week 4 and Week 10. The real challenge for Jenny from now on will be choosing where in her bracket she should risk replacing Lauren. A perfect bracket from here on out has 284 potential points. Her potential remaining is now 190.

Tied for second-to-last in potential points are Danica and me. Danica’s bracket is a mess right now. She’s still heavily suffering from losing Valerie and her fifth and sixth rose ceremonies only have 2/3rds of eligible contestants. I was brought very far down with the loss of Lauren S. so early. Both Danica and I have 220 potential points remaining, save for the changes.

Next is Alicia who had a pretty solid week, though she was also devastating by Lauren S. and she had her going to the Fantasy Suite, a 40 potential-point loss. She holds steady at 236.

Now, remarkably, tied for first in potential points remaining are Justice and Kristina. Both are totally clear from Week 6 on. From an outside perspective, I’d say both brackets are going to stumble when the villains of the season are kicked off, which usually happens in the next two or three weeks. Justice has Chelsea as a runner-up and Kristina has Chelsea in the Top 6 and Krystal in the Top 4. Weighing the cost-benefit of villains is one of the trickiest aspects of the bracket, so we’ll see if it pays off.

Huge props to Justice for being the only one who didn’t have Annaliese moving on. Even bigger props to Kristina who didn’t have Lauren S. moving past the third rose ceremony. Lauren S. went to the Fantasy Suite in half of the brackets and no one had her finish in less than the Top 9 except for Kristina.

I also want to take a moment to talk about how fucking sique Bekah M. was this episode. WHAT?! Points to her for straight up telling it like it is. Wow. Does The Bachelor now know what three-dimensional women look like? Maybe. I guess we’ll find out.

Also, these are probably getting too long for text messages. Would you like it in email form? Would you like it to stop? Let me know.