I apologize for the lateness of this week’s newsletter. I fell ill on Sunday and haven’t had the will to really dig into Lauren B.’s dumbfounding performance until now. So here it is.
This week was a bloodbath. 57% of the women went home. This isn’t the Tuscany of love and romance that we always envision. This is the Tuscany that has been ravaged by World War II. We saw mighty contestants fall.
Watching Arie and Becca K. try to navigate small-town Italy while knowing next to no Italian was very cute. Who knows what ‘small’ means in Italian? I certainly don’t. What is more wholesome American than being on a reality TV show in Italy and trying to fall in love even though you don’t know the language? It was perfect. Only three of our six original brackets and four of six updated brackets had Becca K. moving on, but from my perspective she seems to be the frontrunner heading into the final few weeks of this season.
Jacqueline, the love of my life, went out on honorable terms. She followed her gut and by God I admire that. But damn, it looked like Arie really, legitimately cared about her. And the fact that their relationship almost surpassed all of the obstacles getting in their way (ie. her school, his need for Scottsdale, him not being good enough for her) is truly remarkable. But she saw the end of the road and made the logical decision. And now she’s back in NY, so that’s cool too.
I do not understand Arie’s infatuation with Lauren B. It really doesn’t make sense to me. I mean she’s really very attractive. That part I understand. But I have met few people on this earth who have less of a personality than she does.
If you don’t mind, I’m going to walk through the series of events that led up to Lauren B. getting the rose at this date. 1) She says zero things of substance on the entire date. 2) Arie invites her to open up over dinner. 3) She opens up by saying that she doesn’t like opening up, but that she thinks she’s falling in love with him. 4) Arie leaves the table. 3) She says to the camera that she now thinks she said too much after saying basically nothing. 4) Arie returns and Lauren B. says to him, “I feel like I’m good at reading people and I feel like you felt something off.” (Side note: I didn’t know that could be considered ‘good at reading people.’ She told him she was falling for him and he WALKED AWAY and she now thinks it takes someone who is GOOD AT READING PEOPLE to see that that isn’t the CORRECT REATION?) 5) Arie says that he walked away because he hasn’t felt this in love with someone in a very long time. 6) Arie gives Lauren B. the rose. WHAT?! What has happened to Arie? My confidence in him has plummeted faster than the Dow Jones did last week.
I don’t know where Seinne went wrong here. What a perfect day they had! Truffle hunting with really cute dogs and then a meal with an Italian family and fresh truffles in the middle of Tuscany? You literally cannot have a better day than that! Not to mention, Seinne was slated to win on HALF of our brackets and now she doesn’t even make it to hometowns? This is wild, wild stuff.
The group date was an emotional rollercoaster. Kendall, unsurprisingly, came through in the clutch to grab that rose. Amazingly, though, she has never been on a one-on-one date with Arie. She is taking him home to meet her parents and hasn’t even been on one date with him.
Tia really stirred the pot. It’s never a good sign in this show if you are more focused on other people’s relationships than your own and the fact that she went out of her way to try to throw Bekah M. under the bus shows that Tia is very much the underdog going forward. I’m also surprised that The Bachelor will be going to rural Arkansas TWO BACHELOR SEASONS IN A ROW! What are they going to do there, make-out in the swamp again?! I still have nightmares about seeing Nick and Raven rolling around like pigs in the actual mud. There are alligators in there probably! Or at least weird bugs! Stop! Cancel that trip! Cancel it now!
As for Bekah M., she was fighting an uphill battle this whole season. That fact that she made it this far is a testament to how unique of a person she is. She had a great run, though her demise was inevitable.
Seinne was a Top 4 pick in all six of our brackets. So all the points this week just came from seeing how everyone navigated around their Seinne loss.
Jenny did the best by picking all three of the remaining contestants correctly (Kendall, Lauren B., and Becca K.) She has the lead with 215 points, but only has 15 potential points remaining. With the loss of Seinne, she no applicable contestants in the Top 1 or 2 and only one in the Top 3.
Next is Doug with 202 as he unfortunately banked on Jacqueline and Seinne both to make it to the Top 3. He has 65 PPR, the highest in the league, because he is the only one left whose first choice to win it all is still in the running. Becca K. is going to take that gold home for Doug.
Justice is in third with 188, but she suffered heavy casualties with the loss of both Seinne and Bekah M. She now has no remaining contestants in the Top 3, 2, or 1 driving her PPR down to zero. Justice had Seinne going to the Top 3 and Bekah M. winning it all.
Fourth is Alicia just behind Justice at 186. Alicia has Becca K. making it all the way to the Top 2, but all of the rest of her competitors have lost leaving Alicia’s PPR at 35.
Fifth is Kristina with 174, which, frankly, doesn’t look good, but she has Tia in the Top 2, which could prove to be a very formidable choice given almost no one else is putting their faith in Tia. She has a PPR of 35.
The wreckage that is Danica’s bracket is disturbing to look at. Not only is she in last place with 144 points, but she has no one in the Top 3, 2, or 1 left, giving her a spry zero PPR. She is also the only person to guess just one of the Top 4 correctly, a feat unto itself.
If we follow the Advanced Potential Points formula that I composed last week then the current standings are:
1) Doug – 284.5
2) Jenny – 262.5
3) Alicia – 253.5
4) Kristina – 241.5
5) Justice – 220.5
6) Danica – 176.5
This week’s Sleeper Pick of the Week Award goes again to Danica! She only got one pick correct and that pick was Kendall. In fact, five of the six brackets had Kendall chosen this week, but Danica is the only person who picked Kendall to go to the Top 4 in their original bracket! Well done, Danica. It’s very impressive that you spent all that time predicting that one move. Now, if only your Top 3 of Valerie, Maquel, and Seinne got the same attention, maybe you would have been in the running here.